What I learned with chuck

My sister says Chuck is the best guy I ever brought home, and she’s right. He was a great guy…fun, intelligent, compassionate, gentle, kind and loving. We spent eight wonderful years together and were really good for each other. Chuck blessed me greatly by loving me unconditionally, sharing his zest for life, and basing our life together on meaningful priorities.

When we were first getting to know each other, Chuck convinced me to take a chance on love again because that was the “most important thing in life – to love and be loved unconditionally.” He had known that in his marriage, but I had only experienced it as a child of God and as a parent. Loving each other unconditionally brings out the best in each of you and results in joy, growth, contentment and God’s blessings. We enjoyed the simple things (that beautiful bowl of fresh fruit he made for me each morning, listening to music, holding hands, dancing, friends, family, comfortable silence), as well as extravagances (travel, fine dining, gorgeous sunsets, stimulating discussions and outrageous laughter). We lived life to the full and thoroughly enjoyed each other. Our last weeks together were filled with joyful memories, bewildering challenges, touches of humor, soulful longing for more time, trust in God’s plan for us, and loving goodbyes. We were so close, so loving, and so blessed even in the hardest times. We had no regrets. We would do it all again. Love is like that.

Chuck loved life and felt we should not put off any of the good stuff…learn, live, love, travel. He believed in balance, and his commitment to work hard, plan ahead, serve others, and take care of necessities influenced our decisions. We squeezed as much as we could into our lives and yet lived a balanced, rewarding life. We traveled the world, visited friends and family, entertained and just kicked back and enjoyed ourselves. We had so much fun.

Chuck’s priorities of God, his primary relationship, family, friends, and work enriched our lives.

· Chuck lived his faith every day. He believed and sought God in his own quiet way. He was quick to forgive, to encourage and celebrate others, to quietly bless someone. We worshipped together, and our faith guaranteed that we could “have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance, to the full, till It overflowed”.

· According to Chuck, his primary relationship was second only to God. He described his “marriage of 48 wonderful years” as loving, growing, and being committed first and foremost to each other. He and Janet loved, cherished, respected and supported each other. Their relationship was their #1 priority. That relationship defined him and gave him great joy.

When Janet died, Chuck was bereft and nearly lost his way. He was determined to love again and to recapture some of the joy he had experienced with Janet in a new relationship. He had a great capacity to love and had thoroughly enjoyed life as a couple. I was the lucky recipient of his quest. We met, fell in love and moved in together. Chuck was great at building a relationship and making it our #1 priority. We gave the best we had to each other and loved each other every single day. We just “got” each other and felt so lucky. We experienced joy, wisdom, growth, and belonging.

· Chuck made family a priority, both his family and mine. He always enjoyed seeing them and knowing what was going on in their lives, as well as taking advantage of teaching moments. He was a mentor and friend all rolled into one, and family were just drawn to him and trusted him implicitly.

· Chuck had so many friends – lifetime friends from childhood and early adulthood, from church, work, fitness clubs, dances, neighbors, my friends and book club, snowbirds, you name it. Everyone knew and loved this man! He enjoyed his friendships, shared stories of times spent together, laughed at their craziness, and tried to see his friends whenever he could. He simply loved all of you.

· Work was fun to Chuck. He spent many hours researching stocks and staying up to date with legal and market changes. He celebrated every win he made for his clients. His knowledge, commitment and integrity were amazing. He loved projects (updating the condo, landscaping, painting, etc.), diligently finished them, and celebrated work well done.

The world lost a really good man just when it needs more of his kind. He left a legacy of love, affection, gentle kindness, encouragement and strong beliefs. Our lives are better for having known him. I am so grateful to have loved and been loved by him. I miss him every day but know he is still part of me, in my heart, as close as a breath, still loving and guiding me. It comforts me to know he is with God and his beloved Janet and Greg. He is surely dancing in joy upon some other dawn.

I think he would have liked to leave you with a blessing:

May Christ dwell in your hearts. May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love. Eph. 3:17

Love always,

Karen